Chemo and doc visit are delayed til tomorrow.  I hate change!  Off to Costco to shop for New Years Eve at the club.

Well Merry Christmas!  I am feeling fine,  had a full busy week and energy to spare.  Problem with my favorite exercising which is the power walk.  Seems like after 1/2 mile my lower back aches and if I ignore it there are spasms.  I think its because my core with this big stomach is weak and ergo back pain.  Sounds like I need 10 min of abs everyday. Next time I walk I will take tylenol and see if that helps.  I have been taking prilosec for heartburn everyday for 8 days,  the pain in my abdomen is there only sometimes now.  I will try it for another 10 days.
Blood work was last Friday,  all is good for chemo this week.  So I go Thursday,  I will see the doctor in the morning.  I will ask for the results of the chest xray.  Did I tell you all the fat shows up on the cat scan.  Ugh....
So 3 more chemo treatments.  Off to Moffitt on 1/28.  My doctor here telling me the only way to cure sarcoma is removal.  Heavy on my mind.  Big time games, lessons in January to distract me.  HBC starts 1/14, twice a day for a week!  Off chemo that week and with Paul's help I just might be able to do this.  The bridge club will not see me for a week they will have withdrawals.  I love being there and things go smoothly when I am there and I take care of so many things at the bridge club.  Like last night after we went to a Christmas party after the pot luck lunch at the club which was after we were at Cori's kissing the family and watching Jillian open gifts - so about 9 PM I was working on the books, yes, I do the monthly financial reports and all the group emailing and postings on FB and twitter.  I cannot afford any down time, but of course there will be some.
Another full week planned with 2 parties, one being NYE at the club with dinner so I will be busy.  My appetite is healthy as I eat Christmas cookies.  Yummmmmy.  I am posting a picture of my "prayer shawl".  It was sent right in the beginning by Aunt Alvera.  I take it to chemo, it is always cold there.  I keep it on my chair, next to my head.  On chilly nights I put it on.  Thanks for all your cards and gifts.   The bottom pic is Dr. Steven Patterson, My onc at Holy Cross.   Renown.

My week off chemo.  I feel like I am recouperating.  I have not been exercising.  I need to walk,  my neighborhood is under construction so I have an excuse not to walk outside. I did the upper body pilates yesterday, but need to work out everyday.  Hopefully this week I can keep my calorie intake a little lower.  Blood work on Friday.  I am working a double today, working tomorrow and 3 times on Saturday.  If the blood is okay, Doctor on Wednesday, Chemo on Thursday.  Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year.  I will be at the club.  I need to stay on schedule.  Please God make this happen, let my plan be your plan for me.  Surgery in February? Probably.  

Blood work good, chemo on Thursday and a chest xray. Painful area, comes and goes upper right rib, where the bra goes, but hurts no matter clothes or no clothes.  I think I am just gaining too much weight and my body is protesting but Dr. Patterson wants an xray.  Mom was hit and thrown from her golf cart and dragged so she lost the skin on her right arm.  Broken leg and bruises,  more tests to follow and rehab.  Ugh... Paul and I will make a trip to the Villages when we can do the most good for her.  Next week I have no chemo. 

Blood work looks good.  All systems go for this weeks chemo treatment.  It will be Thursday 11 AM.  Kind of a good time since I get home and take a nice nap before dinner, then I can stay up and watch TV and get to sleep later so I dont get turned around.    This week we are going to Duffy's for lunch instead of Subway.  I am feeling fine,  I have not exercised and that is bad for me.  I need start again and just do it! My neighborhood street is torn up and its not fun to walk outside.  Doctor tomorrow.  Then playing at the club.  Working Wednesday evening.  Just normal stuff,  people returning are looking for me,  takes them twice to realize its me and yes I have cancer.  Someone asked me today who does my hair.  I said God. 

What a great week I had,  my daughter was in town. I exercised with her.  We went to see Lincoln and watched "Survivor" together.  We did our nails, visited family.  I still was at the bridge club and she loves to play poker (sure wish it was bridge!!!) so we were happy campers.  Paul is perfect, even giving up his football game for a taped "Wendy" show.  No chemo last week so I was feeling good and had lots of energy.  In fact I did a triple at the club yesterday and still was able to stay awake thru the DWTS final.  Boy are they GREAT or what!! 
Blood work and see the doctor today to get cleared for chemo on Thursday.
Thanks for keeping up with me.  I expect to be routine each week, having good blood results and not getting sick. 

The party was 56 people and food left over.  Nancy was spectacular I am still eating jumbo shrimp!  I am officially in size 16 (aka 1x).  Jennifer, my lovely daughter is in 14 and some 12's so we exchanged a bunch of clothes that were too good for GoodWill.  I am going to be so comfortable. She is beautiful!  Anyway.  Lets hope the gaining will stall.  I seem to be losing my taste buds but all that does is have me eat food that is more spicy which upsets my stomach.  Its a circular thing.  Now I have lots of chocolate around thanks to my party.  I think it time to start on the wine.  Jenn will be back from the store, Paul will bring home salmon and dinner with Jennifer and Paul will commence.  So great to see her and have her energy all around me and I can get my arms all around her now.  She is so healthy!!  God Bless me, thanks for giving me a child.  So glad it is a daughter.  Here I go again.  Miss teary-eyed.  Happy Thanksgiving to all.  I am grateful for each of you.  By the way some of you have been missing, time to resurface. 

Not much to report.  Good blood, good chemo.  Now I am off for a week.  Jennifer, my daughter, is coming Monday.  Saturday is my birthday.  Big birthday dinner and tournament at the club Saturday night.  Nancy is making the dinner as my gift.  Turns out she needs to cook for about 40 people!  No good deed goes unpunished..... but thanks so much to Nancy Paris.  We are bringing the frozen bananas from the tree for the daiquiris. 
Yes, I know its hard to respond to the blogs and I am hearing from you from other venues so thanks for that.  Looking forward to Thanksgiving at the club but let me tell you how grateful I am for all of you, for my belief in God and His plan and for my beautiful and wonderful family. 
Just started the bood "A Dogs Purpose".  Secrets of life in that book I am told.  Peace and love, kisses and hugs. 

Passed my blood test.  All systems back on track.  This week will be like week 2 and then next week #3 and then I am off Thanksgiving week.  So it worked out.  He could not give me a reason for the elevated levels regarding my liver, but all is good now. I told him I thought I was invincible and regarded Morgan's news as an afront and reacted badly and I was sorry.  He was understanding.  Good....let's get this done.  Meanwhile I will go to Tampa Jan. 28th and meet my new onc there and hear what Dr. Gonzalez has to say about surgery.   So glad the election is over.  We went to vote again at 4:30 PM.  Walked right in, waited 3 min. for a booth. Done, no wait and no perfume.  Thank goodness for PCIP, so far, so good!

Wow,  here is a problem,  I just walked across the street to my poling place and went into the building.  There were only about 20 people but they were ALL wearing perfume.  Must have been all of them cause I could not be in this building with no windows without getting sick.  Hopefully I can get in there before I have to leave to see the Doctor.  Later I am running the game and I am working tonight but would have another chance after work.  I have been fighting a cold that is just starting to make my sinuses fill up and make my throat a little sore. I took some vitamin C and Dayquill/Nightquill.  and Tylenol.  I was told not to take the vitamin C nor anything herbal.  Today I am clear and feeling well. I will hear if I passed the blood test soon. 

I learned bridge in a love/hate relationship.  He taught me with harse words and bad reactions to my bad bids - for 5 years.  But I learned.  The nurse made a bid, I responded, she then yelled at me for making a bad bid (reaction).  I had to learn from my friends at the bridge club that yes this happens, its not my fault, there is nothing i can do.  Help me learn about how reports dont get read on Tuesday instead of Thursday when they are available.  Help me learn how to not react. Or just ask questions til I get to the answer that I finally understand.  Life is Bridge.
Pray, I am in God's hands.  Til Monday and another blood test.

Allright, so here is how it works.  I give blood on Monday, checked by onco on Tuesday and cleared for chemo on Thursday.  So I gave on Monday, I saw Patterson on Tuesday and he did NOT have the blood report, but cleared me for chemo so I got my appt for 1:30 today.  I show up at 1PM and get a call from Morgan Patterson nurse, who says I am not cleared due to some failure on my kidneys part.  Dont know what that means, I am here, but no I have to go home. I was so disappointed and frustrated.  She said she called twice this morning - starting at NOON!! So I said now I go home?? and she called me rude and said she would not put up with my attitude.  Well, I dont like her anymore!  She called Dr. Ontads office crying and said I cussed her out?! or whatever and I did NOT.  She lied, I am really pissed now since the report should have been read on Tuesday, I did not screw up, they did.  Apology, no.....I get reported to her supervisor!!  Unfair, unjust and just not empathic to my plight.  What can I do.  They say I can do nothing, the chemo caused this and I was not allowed to be treated today.  Shit, Shit Shit Shit SHIT.....I will get another blood test on Monday.  They dont even tell you what do to about the problem.  I am going to call Moffitt and delay the evaluation since I am missing more treatments.  We got started late, now this week and then again Thanksgiving.  I am thinking January 28th.  I will probably call tomorrow. 

Hi everyone,  Thursday morning I got a call from Morgan (onc nurse) saying she needed to schedule chemo for me.  I says well I got an automated call that confirmed a 2:15 PM appointment at Holy Cross.  She said really? Well ok, she would write the order.  huh???? anyway I kept my date and all was well, they still had to track down the blood report before they could start, but the girls at Onstad's office were on the job and had the report to them before they could find the one that was already approved and in my file (yeah right!) at the hospital.  Anyway, I was treated, they made future appointments, all on Thursdays and all is well. 
I was also getting messages from Moffitt about scans and bloodwork required before i get there on 12/3.  You know, when you miss their calls there is no "just call me back."  There are no direct lines so it takes a good 5-10 minutes just to get to the right recording to leave a message!
Anyway Gloria got in, we got Linda and Ken, Cori and Jillian, Greg and Kim and Cassie to Carrabbas for a wonderful family dinner.  Then home and in bed about 8:30 PM.
Gloria is the youngest, a cruise agency owner from Dallas, another type A of course.  Love her lots!!
I have a picture of us, but cant access it.  I will try again later.

All is well and on schedule.

6 PM, just got the call.  I am ON for chemo this Thursday 2:15 PM.  Yeah.  Missed one week, oh well.  Gloria my baby sister will be here on Thursday,  we will spend Thursday night and Friday together.  She will even come to the club with me on Friday afternoon.  Later.

No news the girl from Holy Cross Hospital says, the 48 hour authorization for payment is a minimum!  It has to go to 3 different places to be approved the 3rd place being the actual insurance company.  So I wait for the chemo appointment. 

OMG, Holy Cross is not covered and now i cannot get chemo treatment.  I am so fucked! Because of insurance,  self pay was $1104 per treatment.  Now they are talking 10,000, 20,000 or more for one treatment and it would cost me more than without insurance.  OMG.  I am so screwed!  Am I going to have to cancel the insurance I prayed and prayed for?
I am not convinced that I would be better off without insurance and the public county hospitals are in the network so I will to ahead and leave Holy Cross, probably to go to North Broward General.  There the insurance will pay 80% of the cost.  Also, Moffitt is in the network.   

December 3rd, after 2 rounds of chemo, I will travel to the Moffitt Center and find out about surgery.  I imagine all will go according to plan since I am strong and without bad reactions to the treatments. I start again next week.  This date is my choice, I will have to get it scheduled on Monday.  I like having choices and I choose sooner than later.  Season will be busy,  no time is a good time for surgery, but I am a working lady and happy to be the manager of a wonderful full time bridge club.  You are up-to-date.  Thanks for your support, next and last benefit game is November 4th,  Larry Cohen is donating money from his lecture ($20pp) to the trust!  Really nice of him to do this!

Left 9 AM this morning for Moffitt,  got there 2 PM and finally saw the oncologist at 3:30.  He was very very very pleased.  He said I could delay surgery for another 2 rounds of chemo and that would help keep the area of the surgery smaller.  I asked him what he would do if it were him.  He said he would wait 2 more months.  I told him I am busy in January!  Then he said 2 more rounds of chemo would be necessary after the surgery.  So I wont have hair for a long time.  Oh well....at least we have killed the monster and reduced it to smaller than visible!  It might still exist in the skin on my forehead since there is still a mark on my head.  Then about 5:15 the PA (physician's assistant?) came in and said Rick Gonzales, the surgeon was too busy to see me.  I kinda got upset but I had already decided to wait so I really didnt need to see him.  Heather Bridge (yep!) the PA said they could possibly take a large area down to my eyebrow, I said I would object to that but would accept the area that is still marked on my head.  Then I said, is it possible it is gone and I wont need surgery? She said we would  get another biopsy!! Which means to me that there is doubt!  On the way home Dr. Rick Gonzalez himself called me and we talked about the next visit the 3rd week of January.  He agreed!  So chemo til then, just like before,  3 weeks on 1 week off.  If the tumor shows back up or of I have a bad reaction to the chemo, I make an appointment in Tampa for surgery immediately.  See how this works?  Your prayers have been extemely powerful and the medicine is working well.  Just keep it up, I will do my part,  dont get sick, stay calm (ugh, so hard for me), smile and be really positive,  exercise and pray hard.  I can do this folks, you are helping me sooooo much.  Paul as usual got us there post haste and safly home by 10 PM.  He waited with me and kept me calm.  Gotta admit, I took another xanax, waiting for the doctor -  I dont wait very well, not even with a good book.    Love you and thanks.  Back to work, see you at the club.  Stay away if you get a cold.

Hi anxiety,  that is how I describle today.  I was wound tight, picked on Paul for his bidding.  After all, when it goes 1D on your left and 3D on your right alerted as WEAK, should you not take action with 15 HCP?  Not Paul, so we got a bad score. I was wound up all day.  Home now,  took an anxiety pill - dont worry I have not even refilled the prescription.  But today is a good day for it. I hate not being in control of my schedule and I dont know when surgery will be.  I find out tomorrow at Moffitt in Tampa.  Til then I will try to be calm.  Have a wonderful day and I will be in touch tomorrow for sure.

Other than feeling huge, I am feeling fine.  The stretch pants are too small.  Groan.......I have been at the club day and night and still not exhausted.  All reports are good.  Blood work is good too.  Saturday I am even putting on lunch at the club. So I walked 3 miles of the 5 mile tape, success or failure?  Success.  Keep praying for a small area, must be small, we cant even see it on the CT's.  I do have a spot on my throat, wonder what they will do about that.  If I have my druthers, I would like to work on myself with health products.  Then see whats up in a year.  Etc......So many sick and dying right now.  Thanks for keeping me in your prayers.

At the club.
Happy Halloween.

I am so happy right now.  The spot on my forehead has become just that, a little bigger than one square inch.  As compared to the devil monster it had become before chemo.  The doctors are pleased with my progress. And I am very interested to see what they see on the CT's since I dont see anything cept my beautiful dental implants.  Honestly there is not a difference in the color and nothing "lights up" cept my mouth jewelry.  So then I talked to Dr. Onstad who said the same thing.  Well well well.
I am going to post all my insurance information here so that I will know where to find it.  United Health Integrated.  Policy # 24367286 - group # 78360002 - $505 per month.
Blood work Thursday.  Moffitt on Tuesday.  The Bergen Lecture Benefit for the Trust/Manager Party went well and raised $2200,  Marty was terrific as usual.  I feel good.  Mom left early this morning.  I will miss her.

I just called National Finance Center, PCIP is now in effect.  I have a policy # and a group # .  I called Moffit.  I am sure they are going to take my insurance and she says most expenses will be 20% out of pocket.   Whew...... Now on to the surgery and completion of this ordeal.   Thanks for your support and help.  Benefit today with Marty Bergen.  People still helping and helping.  I feel the love.  Thank you God for listening to my friends and for your devine intervention.  Keep guiding my path and the hands of my doctors.

I saw Dr. Patterson on Tuesday, he was pissed that I was upset with everyone.  He said it wasnt his fault nor his problem that I didnt have insurance and can we agree to that and not talk about it anymore.  Well.....don't you hate it when they are so smart and get's to the heart of the matter right now and stopped my pity party, well almost.  So 6 CT scans 3 one way and 3 in contrast, upper body.  Blood work and ready for Moffitt.  Next item is to get my insurance policy number so that i can get the papers rolling at Moffitt. I am finished with Holy Cross for now.  I told the girls at infusion,  thanks for making it so easy, I will not be back.
One thing I got from the treatment is an awareness of my luck.  It might be a big resection surgery, but all in all my treatment time and hopefully my recovery time will be brief and relatively painless and finished and OVER.  Ill get my gray hair back with white streaks, better and fuller than ever.  Beware, I might never shave my legs again.  I am returning scarfs, to me no cover is best.  A hat or scarf would have to be a fashion choice, not a cover up.  I still dont have any big earrings,  I would go shopping but it's a chore and there are "people" there.
Geesh....A.D.D.......So today was the last day of chemo.  God help me stay positive..  here is what happened,  I got a call from my angel-nurse Dr. Onstad office saying the CT's are scheduled on Oakland Park Blvd and they are only $200 cash. For all 6!   And the bloodwork from Monday is good enough to use for the CT's.  So check that is done.  Blood work for Moffitt on 10/4 get them to fax and i will hand carry the discs and the blood report that will save mucho money and folks that pulls me out of the the pity party.  Your prayers are leading me to the right people when I need them. I have to be grateful for all the people pulling for me.  I have to grateful I am not in a whales stomach.  I am grateful and mom is here.  And Paul is here always for me and loves having mom here.

I am feeling good.  Tired, but good.  We will be on Pompano Beach tomorrow, power walk. Linda, Me and Mom,  hope I can keep up.  Then bridge.  Then sleep.  Love my dogs Here is the Pommy his name is Huff and Puff.

"Even I have watched Bob Hope hoof-it.  Love dancing love to dance.  if i could run away i would dance and exercise, my favorite part of the bridge cruise is going to the gym and using the treadmill watching the ocean with meds of course.  i get really sea sick!!  my second favorite thing on the cruise is putting on my music and power walking the promenade deck. bridge everyday and good meals.  thanks for brightening my day.  love you.  xoxo"
This note to a favorite angel-nurse who is trying to keep me calm with distraction.  Having money troubles.  I need 6 CT scans.  I will see if the insurance can get involved, but if the time frame is wrong or if they deny 6 CT scans then I go forward anyway.  I think I will need all the money raised for me.  And I thank you! By the way, by some miracle my blood work for August is no charge!  Prayers and angels.  Now  I just need the policy # and my next call will be to Moffitt to see what is covered over there.  My next appt with Holy Cross Doc Patterson is 6 weeks away.  Healed and busy and busy taking care of myself.  
Happy New Year, I wish you a peaceful fast.  I didnt want to blog today, but I am filled with emotion and feel a need to share.  

Stomach still messed up.  Got up early and took a few pills.  The tumor is making itself known.  Headache and scalp is still sore.  Hair is falling out still I think, but I have the fuzz I showed last time.  Today bridge club. Tomorrow blood work,  see the doctor on tuesday,  chemo on thursday.  Then a week to get strong, see  the docs in Tampa, hope to have surgery soon after the 10th of October.  Its coming fast.  I have no idea what is covered by my new insurance but all appointments have been made and if its covered then fine.

Approved and covered as of October first!  PCIP is for me.  Today the $505 check is mailed to National Finance Center in St. Louis, Mo.  What does it cover?  I have no idea, but I got it, and in time for surgery.  Chemo today.  Board meeting 3:30 PM.  Things are going very well at the club.  Lots of fun events.  A benefit 10/1, one for 11/4.  Hopefully, I will be self sufficient again soon.  Thanks to you all for your donations.  Whatever tests and treatments are needed I will do whether covered or not.  Next I need to watch for my cancelled check, at which time I can get an ID # .  Then I guess I call Moffitt and tell them.  

Hi,  I just spoke with the PCIP people.  I am 24 hours away from approval.  When I call and get approved, I should also get the name and address of the Insurance company where I will send my down payment.  Then I should watch the bank and when the check clears then call PCIP again to get them to find my ID# for insurance claims.  All of that since it takes about 4 weeks to get an insurance card and I might need it before that.  I said yes, I will....So I will have to stay on top of this, I will probably call back tomorrow too.  Just cant wait to get covered! Going to see Dr. Patterson today, I will need to know where to get the cat scan and when and what the blood work is needed for.  Dr. Onstad will probably be involved getting the work done here before I go 10/9. Btw, Sue the nurse who draws my blood every Monday at Dr. Onstad's office is a buckeye, and brilliant at finding my vein.  One little jab, no marks afterward, brilliant.  I hope the doctors are impressed with the chemotherapy and get this done asap. 
To the club today and Wednesday.  Just love to play this game!  Thursday chemo.  Mom is coming to town next Thursday.  I plan on playing with her everyday.  Cant wait.  She will stay with me.  It's like bridge camp when you live my life with me.  I assume we will exercise in the morning.  I am totally out of shape.  Been busy, been tired, been eating salty stuff,   We will probably walk at the beach since our street is dug up so bad there is no way to walk around the park! 
God Bless and Happy New Year!!

Haven't blogged for awhile.  Had chemo on Thursday 11:30 now so my morning and my afternoon is shot and of course seems like I just never wake up!  Been at the club everyday since and am looking for my first good nights sleep.  Been in a trance for the last couple of days.  
I had a wonderful call from Marcia Greenstein, she told me there are more donations and she has another $1500 to give me from the Miami Shores game where Alan Minton is the director/owner.  That makes a total of $3580 from the Miami game and Marcia, with her competitive nature wants to have the best take for the trust.  Well, 31 tables at Pompano, $4200,  13 tables Miami, $3580.  I think you win!  But I know she wont stop.  Anyway,  very humbling, very nice and very much appreciated!!  Love to you all.  Scarfs and hats right now, really getting whispy.   Knuckle bumps please, my appointment in Tampa is 10/9.  I hope to hear from PCIP this coming week that I am approved and October will be covered.  Hopefully he will do the surgery right after he sees me.  Chemo has shrunk the tumor, it has receded.  Hopefully, hopefully it won't be as big as he says.  Keep praying for me.  I need them very much too.  Love to you all.  Stay well.  See you tomorrow at the club.  Happy New Year!!

  

Chemo delayed a day.  No room at the Inn.  I will be directing at the club Wednesday.  Huge success yesterday in Miami Shores.  Thanks to Alan Minton, Marcia Greenstein and those who were so generous.  $2000 collected, 13 tables.  Wow!!   I feel a little on edge so I hope everyone is calm tomorrow.  I think I will take an anxiety pill before I go.  Finished the puzzle and started another.  Blood work was again perfect.  Rhoda Schreider was operated on today, I will deliver her get well card on Thursday at Holy Cross.  Stay well ok?  Love to all of you.
 

Wow, what a day it was yesterday!  Sunday 9/9 benefit was a huge success.  One bad thing, some people were upset with the $20 entry saying "they had already donated".  In fact, Saturday morning I invited a student to the brunch and she said, "you know I already gave a donation"  I was floored, I told her I knew that, but the brunch alone was worth over $20 with lox and shrimp and gourmet bagels and cheese blintz souffle, salads, homemade mandel bread and it was a benefit party.  Nope, no go.  Ok, now on to the happy stuff,  31 tables filled with people who love me!  The event raised $4200. That takes care of the next 3 chemo treatments!  I was and am so overwhelmed that I could not talk!  Someone mentioned I was gaining weight, yes I am,  however, in her experience the chubby ones survive - she included herself since she is a survivor.  Not everyone knows about the knuckle bumps.  Today I have a slight tickle in the back of my throat.  Giving blood today, Dr. Patterson tomorrow, chemo on Wednesday.  I think I will take a little vitamin C right now.  I dont take anything that might interfere with the treatments. Vitamin C today should be okay.
My sweethearts that helped with this event, I thank you.  Incredible job.  The folks who made it so much fun, I thank you.  Today Paul and I are going to Miami Shores - Alan Minton's game. Another benefit with my friends in Miami.  Cant wait!! Alan is a terrific chef, lunch is included.
I feel terrific!  I hope to hear I have insurance this week.  I will call tomorrow.

I still feel terrific and have wonderful clarity at the bridge table.  Thank you God!   Still praying the area that has to be removed will not be as large as I suspect.  Just the fact that he told me no hospital time is encouraging.  Moffitt Center Oct. 9 to find out the rest.  Pray! I know you are!  I thank you.  I love you.  Just talked to mom,  I want her to be here for Marty Bergen 10/1.  No need to come to Tampa for surgery, because we will head home!?  So I asked her to come here and stay with me.  Gloria could possibly pick her up and Linda could bring her home.  Villages is where she lives.  Not that far.  I love my mom. She is a wonderful lady, raising 3 girls (I was the oldest and smartest)  she had a husband that was uninsureable since he had juvenille diabetes and was disabled from a fall in his work.  He was a master cabinet maker/carpenter and kept all the neighbors happy with his remodeling work.  He made all 3 girls a cedar hope chest as a marital gift.  I still have mine and love it, its 45 years old! And its intricate and beautiful  Love you Daddy.  Dead at 55 from that horrible disease.  Anyway mom buried my dad, married my widowed uncle and buried him.  My cousins are so special related and re related.  Love you all. Love my mom,  She plays bridge, they taught me and Gene St. Jean, my xhusband.  I got to play duplicatte with each of them.  My daughter caddied and hated the manners of the bridge players, she now teaches math and plays poker,  but I put her in a game whenever I can and she has masterpoints!  (I am not surprised.)  Tomorrow is the big day.  Benefit #1. Do you think I am uncomfortable, yes I am.  This is very humbling.  However, a party is a party and I have been told it's a good time to drink!  Perfect timing, going back on chemo Wednesday for3 weeks.  Lets party, lets celebrate LIFE!!

Well well well,  interesting things happening.  First of all I feel terrific,  I have no pain, I have energy and I dont fall asleep at 8 PM.  I assume that will change next week when I go back on treatment.  So I am working.  I still CANNOT handle stress, not at all!  If the customers start fighting I start shaking.  So I will not direct too much til this is over and then probably just 1 night a week.  I have a terrific staff of directors who are capable and not lazy. Also on staff is very competent Jesse Laird who has become my Assistant Manager and my all around take over guy if need be.  So far I am doing a good job being the manager, playing as a teacher, teaching classes and taking care of my health.  Paul is a Godsend and your prayers are working.  You must keep praying however, since I still have no approval for PCIP.  You see the office where my application is in NOLA.  They just reopened yesterday. The number I have to call tells me my application is still incomplete even though i have been faxing and snail mailing them since 8/9.  She tells me there is still time to be approved by October and I should call next week!  I says can you help and expedite this for me?  She says everyone needs this insurance and unless I am dying there will be no expediting.  So there!! Am I dying?  No way!!
I still need to contact Moffitt and find out how much, how long, how many doctors, how much money will be involved with the surgery.  So far no return calls. And I just got another bill regarding the port!  Another $1339 which brings the price of the port to $5673.84!!  Still worth it.    Lil and Doc Onstad still number one angels with my anxiety about bills and small pains.  The hair is holding.  Less fell out than yesterday, the top of my head is not sore anymore!  The bottom of my foot still painful but I can walk again.   I have more scarves, I am good in that department and if no more hair falls out I will be okay with nothing at all.

So the scarf!  I loved it. And I got a really neat Hermes Scarf from an adoring and adored friend. It is so beautiful that some say I should frame it, and I might.  But I might just wear it and pretend I have another one.  Some people have TOLD me to buy a wig.  Its not going to happen folks.  2nd pic is from today, yes its really short, like fuzz, and very gray, but the forehead is really looking happy and non menacing.  The devil is in retreat.  Now to rid myself of the bad, infected, compromised skin and I should be cancer free.
Would be a nice bonus if the chemo treatments also cured me of the precancer spots on my cheek and nose.

Monday, Labor Day, my week off.  I plan on directing this week. Its been a strange couple of days.  Like I told you fatigue is present early evenings so by 9 PM I am asleep.  I ate awful yesterday and I feel guilty.  Gotta get back to real, natural raw foods.  I ate gluten all day and my feet feel the pain.  That must be the reason the ball of my left foot is so sore I can hardly walk!  Top of my head still sore, hair falling out, cant believe I still have some.  Still taking nausea meds, still have not thrown up.  Weight is up about 179. I am blaming the steroid for how good I feel,  Doc said dont be on a diet now.  Added a little olive oil back into my diet, some salmon, but too much sugar.  Mango cake in the house,  not good.  Leaving for the club soon, they can have it for breakfast and all day.
I dont expect any changes.  Happy Labor Day.  I get to play with Frany today.  I am happy.  Sunday is the first benefit at the club.   Still feels strange to collect money for me.  Ugh......

Just a last few pics with hair.  No pain, I was asking Paul if he got the prayer shawl and the green scapular (which by the way if for a peaceful death!) in the picture. Treatment started 1:30 and I slept through the whole time,  Ate dinner in a trance and went home and slept deep. Paul got me 6 PM and we headed to the club.  I had a great time with my night time friends.  Woke up early today and started again on thank you cards,  big job, but I have alot to say.  Also responding with emails and texts.  If you cant respond here feel free to contact me on FB or cel or text 954-803-1477. I do it all!  

I called PCIP and accept that I will not be qualified for 9/1 and will have to wait for the 10/1 start time, IF I get approved.  Isaac finally got in my way,  their offices are in New Orleans and they are closed til next Tuesday!!
I had a nasty encounter with one woman who was mad i mentioned ObamaCare.  She gave me quite a tongue waging about why should they pay for other's insurance when they put out so much to pay for hers and her familys.  I will have to think about this. I would expect people to keep up with me and the trials and problems with this new policy.  The Republicans are sure making it a sloppy procedure.  

Meanwhile I would like to thank the many bridge clubs who are having fund games for me.  It is wonderful and uncomfortable.  November 4 will be the last benefit game at the Pompano Club in the afternoon.  But it will be huge with many bridge stars coming out to help build the trust fund.  

Remember, knuckle bumps for awhile.  I am a big hugger and miss it alot.  

God bless you and keep you safe from disease and heartbreak.  Love from me.

Today I see Dr. Patterson at Holy Cross to get my blood work result and get cleared for chemo on Wednesday afternoon.  Next week I am off which means I get to not spend $1500 for treatments.  I am waiting to hear from PCIP.
They say the hair falls out during the 3rd week.  Personally, I am not excited about a wig and hope to wear scarves if it happens.  
I sure wish you would all leave comments for me. I think it takes some work and that is why I havent heard from you.  The google account is free.  Sign up and leave me some notes here.  Thanks all for sharing and caring.

New problems,  what happens to medical procedures when a hurricane is coming?  Supposed to have blood work 9 AM Monday morning and teach a class 10:30 at the club. So I am ignoring Isaac.  I feel good.  I am going to take the nausea meds again today.  PCIP is taking a long time.  I faxed the denial letter last Thursday since snail mail was unsuccessful.  Then Saturday I got a letter stating they are missing information, looks like they are missing the denial letter and maybe a copy of my passport.  So we are stalled. I must take care of this next week.  Isaac - GO AWAY.   Benefit scheduled at the Greek Church on Tuesday, Paul and I will plan on playing there.  Thanks folks! Isaac - no time for you.  These benefits and your generosity is much appreciated.  We are going to the club this afternoon for the brunch and game.  Have a safe day.  

Jeanni,  Malachi in the Old Testament says, "Test me on this says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

"then those who feared the Lord (reverenced Him) talked with each other and the Lord listened and heard.  A scroll of remembrance was written concerning those who honored His name."

That would be you, Jeanni

A friend of ours who is president of a fine seminary wrote regarding the book of Malachi that it ends with a message of hope.  Our awesome God is capable of healing, giving power and bringing  restoration. 

When we walk with the Lord, we walk in hope.

We are walking in hope with you. Love, Lil and Dr. O.

I am very blessed to have doctors and nurses who are believers as I am and keeps the line of grace always open and headed my way.  Love you back.  

I feel good today, anniversary party at the club tonight.  Nancy is making a chinese/american buffet for all of the guests as our present.  Lots of helpers and fortune cookies. I have 6 bridge sayings as the fortunes.  Would be best if I could grab a nap between sessions.  I will tell Paul, he will make it happen.  Wine and champagne await.   

Here is a picture of Paul and I at our 40th Nova H.S. reunion.  We met at our 30th class reunion.

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Emotional day today in a good way.  Sid Wolkoff came to the club and we celebrated his 95 years and playing everyday.  I introduced Sid and told of my knowledge of him over the past 30 years.  How he dresses so well and loves the ladies.  We sang Happy Birthday, we sang "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" and then I turned the mic over to Sidney.  He said he is using levitation?!  Anyway, then he said he is going to give Jeanni a passionate kiss on her left forehead and then I will ask Paul about a menage a trois.  Whew... what a guy.  We cut the cake,  and then we left for Holy Cross.  Takes just a few minutes to get there from the club.  I finally got the drip going 2 PM and slept a good part of the 2 hours they administered the drugs.  Guess Ill take a nausea pill this evening.  So far so good....You should see me.  maybe next week Ill have Paul take a pic.  I have this beautiful long and wide shawl that is perfect for a blanket, a pillow, my green scapular and an angel pin.  In my purse is St. Pio and St. Peregrin, blessed by monsignors (they are hiding or I would check the spelling).  I am being prayed for throughout whole churches.  I thank you and I thank you.  Once again,  money out today $1104. Checks and well wishes $1250.  I cant thank you enough!  And thanks Gloria for my crystal cross that is the same as my birthday stone, topaz.

I feel tired.  I am going to play with Juan,  I had a glass of wine.  Hope that's ok.  Peace, Love and Praise.  Everyday I have something to be grateful for.  An attitude of gratitude I wish for everyone.

We did not get to play today, we dont like to make a sit out.  So we left and now I am home eating homemade chicken soup by Linda Church and delivered by Ken along with some avacados.  Thanks sis.
Blood work is perfect and I am all set for chemo Wednesday 1:30 at Holy Cross.  Dr. Patterson is pleased and didnt have much to say cept dont take other meds right now.  I dont want to get any germs so knuckle bumps are the way I am going to greet people now.   I've got this little rash on the back of my neck, its just annoying.
Everything kinda gets to me right now, probably best if I take a break from the club.  Tomorrow we will pick up the cake sing to Sid and then go off to chemo.
I get to play with Juan Wednesday night. Hope they give me some stay awake drugs tomorrow.
Love to all my friends,  prayers are still required.   I called PCIP today, they have my application but they still havent received the denial letter.  She said I should call end of week.  Since they got the application 8/9 IF I get approved then August bills should be covered.  This was a very emotional phone call for me.  I pray alot and I know you will pray I get approved.  Thanks so all for sharing and caring.  Love you.  Big parties, our anniversary Friday Night,  Marty Bergen coming Oct first.  Larry Cohen coming in November.  I mean really??!! They are donating all proceeds to the trust fund.  I love this family of mine.

Just want to record how much fun it is to be at the club with people I know, playing a game I love.  Our love of the game is the cement, our friendships blossom, not all the time, but enough to make it a place to get there early and socialize.  Dean Kogut up there at The Inn at Ocean Breeze in Boca is having a charity game for me.  I think there will be many of them, but it starts Monday 8/20 12:30 PM.  Paul and I are eager to see all of you again and I happen to be available so we will play at Deans tomorrow.  Come and see me!  9:30 AM blood work.  You need to keep praying...I must have the proper white blood cells in order to get the chemo.  I feel great so I think I ll be okay, but just in case.  Pray my blood is good and we can continue to fight this bastard living in my forehead.    Time for dinner,  coming Paul....  Thanks everyone!!

I am reading all your comments, all your cards and answering all your phone calls.  I am grateful for this journal which allows me to tell all of you what is happening and how much you mean to me.  Today I came home to a pile of doctors and hospital and lab bills and a big pile of checks and cards!  Thanks so much!   Big surprise is the additional bill from Moffitt.  We paid $1500 to go the first time for the evaluation, I saw Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Conley and they did a biopsy.  So now we get a bill from Moffitt that includes office consult: Gonzalez $423,  Biopsy $150, Office consult: Conley $423.  Self pay gives me 50% off.  But really, thought it might be covered.
Learning to live like I am sick will not be easy for me.  Today a stray made its way into the club, I picked her up, called her mom and delivered her to the groomer across the street.  Such a cute Shitsu like dog.  Anyway,  Im not supposed to pick up anything, and certainly not take a chance the dog had germs.  She was scruffy, got out when the a/c man was not watching.  Thanks goodness for collars with numbers.   I will try to learn but if you have a sniffle stay away from me please.
Aunt Ann sent a Green Scapular.  I will wear it.  Prayers are wonderful.  I feel great.

My forehead is not as red today.  I feel fine.  I had a good nights sleep.  Bridge today, home tonight.  I am drinking lots and lots of Kangen water to keep in an alkaline state.  I am laughing alot and will get lots of sleep.  No helpful nutrients while the chemo is at work so I have to keep up my immune system on my own.  You will see a juicer at the club soon - thanks to Xio - where I will drink wheat grass and stuff like that.
I am very happy with my team of doctors, nurses, techs, and my team of family and friends.  WOW.
 

Holy Cross at 7 AM, got in, filled out papers, paid the lady and was brought to the back where they put me in a gown, covered me with blankets and put at needle in my hand.  I hate needles.  I told them I am catholic and was happy to be in Holy Cross except for the outrageous price for the port.  The nurse prayed with me and assured me God loves me.  I responded, God is right, get this fu..king devil out of my head.  Alot of you are praying for me,  keep praying, I feel them.  Hopefully PCIP will save me.  Anyway so Dr. Tate, the interventional radiologist, after finding out I have angiosarcoma says "didnt I read your slides?"  And I said yes with Dr. Onstad (and he read them at no charge I think.) anyway.  Now I say, do you know what I paid for this port since I have no insurance?  They (about 5 of them) say no. I say $4337.84 - sooooo I want the deluxe model,  the preferred treatment, good drugs and a trip to disneyworld.  They promised me everything cept Mickey.  When I finished at 11something we went to Dennys for lunch.  Back to Holy Cross for chemo instruction with Morgan, Dr. Patterson's nurse, but she is really my nurse and I love her too!! Anyway then they came and got me and my $1100 for chemo at 1 PM.  Finished 4:30 PM.  I feel fine,  really bruised but good to go.  I will be at the bridge club tonight. Thanks Paul for being there always. 

Ive got the denial letter,  it will go in the mail tomorrow.  I got the flat price for everything.  The port: $4337.84 once time charge for putting it in and taking it out.  Chemo: $1104.91 each visit.  Bloodwork: $838.99 each week.  Doctor visit: about $100 each week.    I am home tonight.  All day at hospital tomorrow.   I need to post a picture.  Angry bastard today.  this is actually a good pic of this devil.  Shithead comes to mind, hehe.  See the brusing?  Hurts right there.  See my fingers, hurts back there too.   More and more donations.  I really thank you and know who you are, soon there will be a list of your names.

News!!  I got to see Dr. Patterson today at Holy Cross, I got my questions answered and my fears quieted. So yes the chemo is only put in me once a week, 24 hours and then it is gone from my system.  Yes, I will get a port, it is safer and I HATE shots.  The port goes in Wednesday 7 AM,  I think i will be infused (like that word?) Wednesday afternoon.  Here we go, finally.  They are charging me as we go.  I should get the denial letter today.  PCIP within a month?  Prayers still required.  Okay to give me feedback here.  Hugs to you all.  Next trip to Moffitt is October 9 for evaluation.

Another day of being overwhelmed.   Numerous donations, that will certainly help.  Bernie was there today, she taught us alot.  Then a game with Ada,  a great woman,  my friend.  But then after all it is bridge and  we struggled.  It didnt help to find out by the way of the financial person at Holy Cross that I will probably and most likely need a port so they dont have to put needles in my hand.  Of course, stupid me, I thought the words "1/2 hour, once a week shot" meant that's it!  But of course it fills the port once a week.  But I had to stomp my feet and cry about that. Lil had to talk me down. Good I didnt do that in front of the doctor.  I just have to accept that they have talked and they know and they will get me going on whatever path I have to walk to kill this devil.  Thanks again everyone.  I will "buck up".

I found this post from 7/30 and I am here to tell you, the whole paragraph is bullshit and I double!  So the first question they should ask is "do you own anything?" Cause if you do you probably dont qualify for financial aide at all.  And there is very little charity money available...so they say now.  So still being stupid (or in shock) in July I delayed getting PCIP.  But the application is finished, just need to send the denial letter and then hopefully I will have insurance in 3 or 4 weeks which should be in time for the big surgery at Moffitt.    

I just met with a "very important person", she told me so herself. She said when you get to see me there are miracles coming your way - charity money wise. In fact I might be alot better off WITHOUT INSURANCE!! God, is this your way?? Did You plan for me to find the cheaper more effective way to deal with a life threatening tumor?? Anyway, now I get a call from my guardian angel nurse who says the head pet scan reader sees NOTHING!! And he want to get my slides reanalyzed and re-diagnosed by a big pathologist that knows the most. PRAY!!!

It was a calm nice weekend.  Nothing as fun as a birthday party for a loved 5 year old with family all around.  Alan Minton will host a fund raiser for me Monday 9/10 at his game in Miami.  Thanks Alan.  Bernie DeYoung will collect money for me at the Ft. Lauderdale Bridge Club.  Your generousity and concern overwhelmes me.  Can't wait to kill this thing.  My left eye is heavy, I have a constant headache now.  Time for sleep.   

Well, hell hath no fury like a younger sister fueled by a baby sister to get this insurance application mystery unfolded.  The application is complete. Meanwhile I have an appointment with Patterson at Holy Cross Tuesday 9:15 AM,  here we go.  Yeah!!  So prayers are working, I will give the lessons on Mondays and play with Ada, Tuesday is my day off!!  See.... I believe and I have faith.  Thanks Linda Church and Gloria Currie my sisters, and of course my daughter.  I love you and am so grateful you are a part of me.  My aunts at the Villages send me cards most every day.  Thanks, I love you.  People are sending checks, emails and cards. Lil Onstad keeps track of me every second.   I love and appreciate you.  God is keeping me busy with bridge - I LOVE that.

I should be headed toward my first chemo session soon.  I hear the medical oncologist from Moffitt called the oncologist here at Holy Cross with the regiment.  When they submit the plan to admin then I will get a call with a price and probably a date.  We are not eligible for any charity money or financial aide.  The trust at the Pompano Bridge Club is to help us.  Make out checks to The BridgeJeanni Needs Trust, mailed to me or the club.  They are not tax deductible.
I am still waiting for the denial letter so I can apply for PCIP.
My head hurts,  its time to shrink this devil tumor.  Please God, Please let it be soon.  Pray for my doctors to get this right.
Thank you everyone, I am reading all comments.

Changing over from caringbridge to this blog spot.  Please follow me here.

I will continue to keep you updated on my progress through this blog.  If you subscribe to e-mail notifications from this blog, you will automatically receive updates. Thanks again for your uplifting words and your generosity.