Hi There, today was one of those days where nothing went right.  24 hands, most of which were painful.  We failed to anything that was right.  The best we were was average.  I was not a happy partner and probably made my partner very unhappy.  I am sorry and my stomach hurts.  When it comes to fight or flight, I am the flight person.  So when I am tied to my chair by the rules and cannot run, get away and start anew a new day, I become really frustrated.  I should have taken a xanax.  The harder I tried the worse it got. Anyway, how do I change,  can I learn from having cancer?  I do what they say and accept the protocol.  Why cant I relax and accept our zeros without preaching.  Yuck, really hate my personality flaw.  I comes from my training in bridge.  I was yelled at and ridiculed as I learned advanced concepts in bridge.  You pass that on, and its really bad.  I whined alot today.  No more whining. 
So I have these really strange twinges on the graph, I feel an itch, I reach up to scratch and it is the graph that has no feeling!  And I cannot find the source of the itch.  Is that weird? 
I wish you all a Happy Easter and Happy Passover.  God bless you and your familys.  Thanks for putting up with me, I am not perfect. 
I think I am healing as fast as possible.  The scabs are almost all gone.  Radiation will start Tuesday 9:15 and 4, six weeks. 

I look drunk, I am.  Cheers. 

Appointment this morning at radiation was a fitting for the mask and they are still not done with the apparatus so radiation is delayed til Tuesday when my appointments will be 9:15 AM and 4 PM 5 days a week for 6 weeks.   No tourney for me til Sunday.  Boo.  I am feeling fine.  Seems like the head is healing just like it should.  The big bills are rolling in.  I will not pay them til I understand them.  Thanks for following me along in the journey.  Its a long process!  Love from me to you. 

Paul and I were invited to seder tonight at John Knox Village by Peggy Golden with her husband, brother and sister in law.  It was lovely, well attended and with lots of participants.  I learned alot, but really felt like I was being talked about.  Delivered from evil is ME.  I am very very grateful.  Radiation starts Thursday.

Working a double today and then Dog Night at the club.  Should be a blast.  We are bringing Sandy.  We are leaving Puffy home,  he cant seem to control his bladder and he has that small dog cough when he cant catch his breath.  Poor thing.  Anyway, I am feeling great. I am seeing the radiologist tomorrow and radiation will probably start the following week.  I will post more info as I get it.  Fun yesterday with family and friends and great food.  The brunch at Galuppis was wonderful and then Linda put together an Irish meal everyone loved!  Thanks for the great times, dinners, desserts, scarfs, hats, money and your prayers.  xoxo

We went to Disney,  way too crowded for my tastes.  We walked Animal Kingdon and Epcot.  Ate in France and stayed in a nice hotel and came home.  Meanwhile the stitches are popping and the scabs are falling off.  I sent this pic to Dr. Rick Gonzalez in Tampa and he asked me if radiation has begun yet.  Apparently he wants me to start right away.  I wanted to wait til 2nd week in April.  Oh well.  I will talk to Dr. Medina and get this going.  Nope, the pics are still too gross.  Maybe in a few weeks.
 

Feeling very weak,  just walked around the block and my feet and my back were hurting.  How in the world are we going to make it around Epcot? I know, I should have these problems all the time!  We leave Wednesday, back on Thursday.  I feel ok in my scarfs but cant wait to take them off end of day.  I am trying to avoid the percocet, but sometimes....
Going to see mom tonight, she is still at the hospital with antibiotic IV.  Poor thing, she is bored to death and eager to get home. 

First day w/o the bandage,  what an experience.  Feel naked, kinda ugly.  But with the scarf it was covered and I was fine.  Today I get it wet, today I wash my hair and my face, not the new stuff, but I am going to get it wet. Scary.  I went to see Dr. Medina, the radiologist, got the dates and they are holding off til after the bridge tourney first week of April so I can go play.  Radiation will begin second week of April for about 8 weeks at high doses.  They will build me a mask that will protect areas that are not to be radiated.
I got some wide brimmed hats from Susan, I will still have to wear a scarf, they will be great for Disney. We go next Wed and Thurs.
My sister Gloria will be in town for St. Pat's day, should be a fun get together.  I will post some pics of me in my scarfs.  Time to get creative. 
I feel fine, still nipping the percocets. 
Have a wonderful day!

I saw Dr. Patterson, oncologist, at Holy Cross this morning,  he declared me "NED" No Evidence of Disease.  The radiation will kill anything that might be lingering beyond the clear edges and then I am good to go.  Sweet words, bright future.  Anxiety about not wearing a bandage, but they insist that i have to let it dry.  Must be a way to cover this raw mess on my forehead.  Only bad thing is that the bills are pouring in.  YUCK.  I see the radiologist tomorrow, Dr. Medina, the best!! I will get a plan and feel like I am finishing.  Thanks for every prayer, for every thought for my future.  xoxo

I am sitting here working at the computer with my bandage off.  I have been spraying with diluted Bogdana and I will rinse with saline water and gauze.  Then bandage with aquaphor and cover for my shower.  My leg is still going through the horrible itchy thing!  I got up, put aloe all over it and took a percocet.  In about 10 minutes the pain and itch went away, the aloe dried and i went back to bed.  I hope that stops soon, I had put aquaphor on my leg earlier. 
I see 2 doctors on Tuesday and Dr. Medina, radiation, early Wednesday morning.  Its a 2 hour visit.  Should Paul come with me?  I will tell him I dont want to start treatment til 2nd week in April.  After the Regional tourney.  Paul and I are going to Disney World, just one night in a hotel and free entries into the parks thanks to Linda and Ken.  So the reservation guy asked if we were celebrating anything on this visit, my response was I am between chemo and radiation after surgery, we are celebrating life. 
His mother went through it too, was cancer free for 20 years, but dead now.  People do understand.  One guy asked "Gee, how does the other guy look?"  I replied "Like a surgeon."  Paul said I should have said, "he wore a mask". 
I am enjoying my new facebook friends posting in the angiosarcoma group.  Lots of prayers there and sharing.  Love to all.